My boyfriend replaced me with a vibrator

Dear Killa,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I am 26 and my boyfriend is 24. We dated for about 12 weeks, then we started to have sex. His birthday was approaching and I asked him what he wanted me to get him and, to my surprise, he said a vibrator. I objected but he insisted that was what he wanted. I bought it. But, now he is obsessed with it. He is always using it on himself and he groans a lot. He is now ignoring me because the vibrator is giving him more than I can give him.

Dear Miss Replacee,

Mi cyah believe some man wey mi hear a say dem a men. (Now dat mi hear ) it fi myself, water full up mi eye. Dis man a gal clown. Gyal, clown him…drown him! Whappen to dem? G.C.E! Gal Clown Executive. A fool dat yo!