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Friday, 2 December 2011

Me run him head Killa

Dear Killa,

I am a regular reader of your column and I enjoy it. My boyfriend has two babymothers but I don't have any children for him. His babymothers are jealous of me, because I am living with him and I tell him what to give them to support his children. The other girl promised to obeah me so that I would walk up and down and talk to myself. My boyfriend and I are planning to get married next year, 2012. He is building a house and he is sending me to Miami to buy the fixtures. When the house is finished, these girls are going to go crazy. They call me a mule because I don't have children, but I know how to keep this man and I have made up my mind to be a good wife to him. Every day I take care of his meals and his clothes and do whatever he wants me to do.

Dear Fiancé,

Hey yo! Can’t you see, (dem) wanna be, crying to be, dying to be, trying to be… But, they just can’t be (you). Yuh a live yuh life, dem a try survive. Yuh cool like cucumber, just like ice. Every part in yuh body move synchronized. Yuh a di magnet fi mek (yuh) man nature rise. Dem deh gyal deh nuh 100%, man haffe love dem wid oil and one ting dem can sure (of) is just unwanted child. None a dem cyaah cross de line, dem haffe maintain de rules. (Suh mek dem gwaun chat) yuh stronger than dem vial and obeah. Kill dem wid (yuh) ways, yuh have pride and looks. (Yuh) can wash, yuh can clean, yuh can press and cook. (Dem) gyal (deh) a look war just because dem so vile. (Suh) mek dem galang, dem come in like a reptile.

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